Objectives
This package will help you to use a number of grammatical and vocabulary related alternatives to improve the structure and way you link your writing together.
Introduction
There are many ways in which you can link your writing together. In the packages on cohesion and coherence we shall look at some of the more complex methods but in this package we shall focus primarily on transitional expressions. In particular we shall focus on their:
- use
- misuse
For this package we are going to look at Kyrgyzstan, a landlocked, mountainous country in central Asia. It is a rather small country with fewer than six million inhabitants and a landscape dominated by enormous mountains, craggy valleys and dramatic gorges. This humble nation is fast becoming a hotspot for those looking for somewhere a little less predictable.
Now look at the map below. How do you pronounce the name of the country in the centre of the map? What do you know about Kyrgyzstan? Do you know anything about the marriage customs in this country?
/kur‿gis‿sta(a)n/
Work on your own or with a partner answering these questions. Answer truthfully.
- Are you married? If your answer is ‘yes’, why did you get married?
- If your answer to question 1 was ‘no’, will you ever get married? Why? / Why not?
- Do you think people ever feel under pressure to get married from society, family or friends?
- What qualities should the ideal partner possess?
- What age should people be when they get married?
- Is marriage different today than for your parents or grandparents? If so, in what ways?
- If you are already married, what kind of wedding did you have? If not, what kind of wedding would you like?
Read these two texts and then answer the questions that follow by clicking on the right button.
Text A
The Kyrgyz have one very strange marriage custom. Bride kidnapping consists of a groom kidnapping a potential bride. His friends help too. Bride kidnapping is illegal but it is very common. The bride is taken to the groom’s family home by force. The bride is persuaded by the female members of the groom’s family to marry the groom. The groom’s family try to put a headscarf on the brides head. If the bride allows this, she agrees to the marriage. Some people believe bride kidnapping is just part of Kyrgyz culture. Other people think it violates human rights.
Text B
The Kyrgyz have one very strange marriage custom, bride kidnapping. This tradition consists of a groom and his friends abducting a potential wife and then taking her back to his home by force where she is persuaded by his female relatives to marry him. They do this by putting the traditional wedding headscarf on her head. If the bride consents to this, she consents to the marriage. This custom is still very common despite it being illegal and although some people believe bride kidnapping is just part of Kyrgyz culture, most consider that it violates human rights.
Unfortunately, many linking words and expressions are often overused or misused. As a result, texts often look very unnatural and awkward and they can lack fluency and coherence. In this part of the linking package, we shall look at four common errors:
- Missing links
- Incomplete sentences
- Double conjunctions
- Using prepositions to link clauses
Missing links – this is a common error where the linking word is left out altogether and is often replaced with a comma. A conjunction connects two parallel clauses (subject + verb), phrases or words usually in one sentence.
- Kyrgyzstan’s natural resources include gas, oil, gold. ✘
- Kyrgyzstan’s natural resources include gas, oil and gold. ✔
Incomplete sentences – sometimes dependent clauses or complex subjects are left ‘in limbo’ without a logical connection to another clause.
- Because investment in the gold mining industry is mostly privately owned. ✘
- Because investment in the gold mining industry is mostly privately owned, many are worried that ordinary people in Kyrgyzstan will not benefit. ✔
- Dissatisfaction with the government’s position on private investment. ✘
- Dissatisfaction with the government’s position on private investment has resulted in violent demonstrations. ✔
Double conjunctions – this is where two conjunctions are used instead of one. This is a common error in Hong Kong because in Cantonese two conjunctions are often used together.
- Although people in Osh have complained to the police about bride kidnapping but the police have refused to take action. ✘
- Although people in Osh have complained to the police about bride kidnapping,
butthe police have refused to take action. ✔ Althoughpeople in Osh have complained to the police about bride kidnapping but the police have refused to take action. ✔- Since the local people were frustrated so they held a peaceful demonstration.
Another common double conjunction is since / so
Using prepositions to link clauses – another common error consists of using prepositions linked to clauses instead of nouns or noun phrases.
- In 2011 three government officials were arrested due to they were demonstrating against police ambivalence to the bride kidnapping epidemic. ✘
- In 2011 three government officials were arrested due to the fact that they were demonstrating against police ambivalence to the bride kidnapping epidemic. ✔
- In 2011 three government officials were arrested because they were demonstrating against police ambivalence to the bride kidnapping epidemic. ✔
Other examples include: in addition to / despite / in spite of / because of / in view of
Read this text and highlight TWENTY linking errors. When you have finished, click on the CHECK button to compare your answer.
Answers:
1. To begin with for hundreds of years Kyrgyzstan was an isolated country in the mountains of Central Asia located along the Silk Road. It has borders with Kazakhstan to the north, Uzbekistan to the west, Tajikistan to the 2. and southwest, China to the southeast and east. 3. Moreover , as a former republic of the old USSR, it was rarely visited by outsiders 4. but since its independence in 1991Kyrgyzstan has begun opening up and because 5. of this, a strange local custom has been rediscovered.
In a small village in the countryside outside the city of Osh, a wedding is about to begin. 6. As a result , family and friends are busy preparing for the occasion and the groom admits to being nervous. 7. In addition, it seems that he has had some problems finding himself a bride but he is optimistic that ‘this one will say yes.’
8. When At last she arrives, she is manhandled into her hosts’ house, in tears and 9. this is because she is clearly in distress. The girl’s name is Norkuz 10. and she is a ‘kidnapped bride’.
Norkuz has been kidnapped from her home a few miles away by the groom’s brother and some of his friends. She is lead into a large open room by the women of the family who are simultaneously forceful and comforting. 11. Besides, they tell her that they too were kidnapped brides and that she should be grateful as she is already over 25 which is considered in rural Kyrgyzstan to be ‘over the hill’.
12. When Norkuz resists, she is told by her abductors that 13. due to the fact that / because the negotiations for the marriage have already been agreed between her brother and the groom, she cannot break the agreement.
An hour later, Norkuz is resisting less and although obviously very tired, 14. but she is at least laughing with the women who by now have placed a scarf on her head. It is because the custom dictates that once the ‘bride-to-be’ accepts the ceremonial headscarf, then the wedding can begin. In the end, Norkutz relents.
Although bride kidnapping was traditionally a very commonly practiced custom 14. but its origins are unclear. 15. Furthermore, it was banned during the Russian occupation and has officially been illegal since 1994, 16. however the authorities rarely enforce the law. Recent figures suggest that close to a third of indigenous Kyrgyz women in Kyrgyzstan may have been forced into nonconsensual weddings.
Four months after 17. wedding, Norkuz their wedding and her new husband stand, hand-in-hand, giggling outside their home in the snow. 18. More importantly Norkuz is already two months pregnant.
“ 19. Since I have a husband so I am not alone anymore. Now we can take care of each other and dream together.”
20. Last but not leastLast but not least for his part, the groom is very satisfied. "I’m happy, she’s happy, our families are happy. What else matters," he says.